Reality!

:) So, I have officially lost 7 lbs! 3 more and im at my goal of 10lbs in a month. (although I did go slightly over my month). Im pretty damn proud of myself. Pushing myself to exercise 4 out of 7 days after years of no activity is pretty good I say.

Now, on to other things. Nina is having some problems at school and we have to get her some testing. This is the biggest stress on me right now. As a parent you never want to face the reality that there is something "wrong" with your child. I do not think a learning disability defines any child. However, I feel like a horrible mother for not trusting my gut instinct 2 years ago when I was telling others my worries. And it really breaks my heart that I have been pushing her and pushing her and getting upset when she's "not paying attention" when that is part of her issues. She has a hard time focusing and concentrating, often seeming like she isn't paying attention. My heart breaks for my baby. I only want what is best for her.

There are days when I feel like I have failed as a parent. That I have failed my child. I am the one person on this earth that is supposed to know when something is wrong. How did I let this get by me? Have I just been hoping that is was just her being "ditzy" or "blonde" or "air headed" as many people like her are deemed? I guess. I was perfectly happy having a slightly ditzy child who was always smiling, happy, and seemingly oblivious to the issues around her. Now I look back and realize that maybe she just couldnt focus on the things around her. UGH.

I know that whatever the outcome after the testing that she is STILL my little bean. The same little girl that she has been since day 1. I only want whats best for her and to make her the same happy girl she has always been. Seeing her struggle in school and become frustrated hurts me as her mom. I have a few things to discuss with her school this week, and hopefully a dr's appt can be set up soon. I will keep everyone updated.

Krystal